Poly-polyphenols

I've been trying to drink a lot of green tea, since apparently it makes you live forever. That's what the intarwubs told me. So imagine my delight when I saw this product on the shelf:

Apparently, Jackie is now kicking the shit out of aging as well! It's a pretty interesting product. It uses cane sugar as a sort of base for a really strong green tea extract. The product itself is green and definitely smells like plant resin. And indeed, it seems to be quite potent, at least according to this kinda-ridiculous chart on the side:

WhoaMG, that's a big green bar as compared to those small black bars! Of course, since statistics can be made to show anything, let's check this out. Alright, it is measuring polyphenols, and it seems that all teas (or at least the ones measured here) have them. What it interesting is that it is comparing InstaGreen to green tea itself, arguing that even though the product is mostly green tea, it is somehow better than green tea. Ah, but it is "per serving". So what is a serving of tea? Well, I would guess it is however much is in a regulation-size tea bag; maybe a few grams? So is this measurement comparing a few grams of tea to a few grams of powder? If so, that would make sense.

...riiiight. Apparently, to get the "best" effects, with 1tbsp measured at 11g, one should consume between 11g and 160g of this powder a day, dissolved in between 8oz and 48oz of water.

Let's get these numbers out there.

Total container: 512g of powder

Size of 1tbsp, according to package: 11g

Serving size: 11g-55g (mean=33g)

Suggested daily consumption: 11g-165g (mean=85.5g)

Estimated polyphenols per serving of green tea: 80mg

Stated serving size on nutritional facts label: 1.5tbsp, 16g, makes 1-2c

Stated servings per container on nutritional facts label: 32 (not "about" 32. Exactly 32.)

Stated polyphenols per serving: 300mg

Now, let's crunch them a bit. (I won't show my work; I promise you, you can figure it out!)

How long will this container last if one wants the "best antioxidant effects" every day? Between 3.2 and 45 days

How potent is this extract, assuming 300mg/serving, considering variable serving size? Polyphenols between 5.5mg/g and 27mg/g.

How potent is it with fixed serving size? 18.75mg/g

How much extract would it take to make a cup that has the same potency as green tea? 2.9g-14.7g, variable serving size; 4.3g, fixed size

How many 80mg polyphenol cups of green tea could I expect to make from this container? 35-177 cups, variable serving size; 119c, fixed size

How many days would this container last someone wanting to replace brewing a bag of green tea a day with InstaGreen? 35-177 days, variable serving size; 119 days, fixed size

Considering the fact that it is stated there are 32 servings per container and one would take one serving a day, how much faster would one have to buy more of this product if they obeyed the nutritional facts instead of working out a number of dubious claims being made on the package? 3-145 days, variable serving size; 87 days, fixed size.

9%-453% faster; 272% faster

Jackie Jackie Jackie...I thought we were friends.

Never trust an Asian martial artist movie star salesperson.