"Tgirl envy?"?!

I found the following email in the yahoo group TsDoItYourselfHormones. It is a group packed with transgender people--mostly MtF--who are trying to do hormones without going through the complete song and dance that society would like. The post "Tgirl envy?" was made by a user going by Barbie. The text follows, in its entirety.

When I read this, I just about lost it. I couldn't hold my tongue.

I decided to respond with what ended up being a manifesto containing a lot of my feelings about the unfortunate infighting and bitterness that rises up in the GLBT community. Something needed to be said. I post this here for your approval. (My emphasis in bold.)

Hi girls,

This post is about what is increasingly appearing to me as a bitter, jealous envy of tgirls on hormones by the other members of the transgender community, for example crossdressers and transvestites.

I am basing this on what i am seeing since i setup my Flickr photo album about 2 weeks ago. Here is the hard evidence that makes me come to this shocking conclusion.

On Flickr they have dozens of groups catering to Cds, Tvs, TG's, Tgirls, transexuals, and all gender variations in between. So i joined about ten groups which is common to do on Flickr and then posted my photos in each group which is what you do on Flickr, it's all picture sharing and no talk other than comments members can leave on your posted pics.

So without sounding conceited, i posted 2 sets from two photo shoots i did last week and this week, the second photo shoot you guys haven't seen yet, and let me tell you, they came out fantastic; i look so good in them i wish could meet the girl in those pics LOL!

But one thing i'm noticing is that all the girls in these groups, most of whom are not on hormones, in droves they lavish wonderful comments on the pictures of the Cd's and Tv's who post their pictures which again, without sounding egotistical, don't even come close to matching the sexiness and photographic beauty of my photos. But when it comes to my photos in the same group, you couldn't buy a comment even if you offered them a thousand bucks.

I mean, photos of the other girls there are receiving dozens of glowing comments on each photo posted in all these various groups, and my photos based on that should be getting flooded with comments, so the only reasonable conclusion to make of this disparity is that they have Tgirl Envy for girls like me who are on hormones!! My profile and pictures make it clear i'm on hormones so this must be the factor that is resulting in this "Tgirl Envy", i just coined this phrase so trademark rights are mine LOL!

Now, this post is not about me or how wonderful i think i am or look, i'm only using my recent experience to point out what i'm really believing is some sort of jealousy against Tgirls on hormones by the trasngender community who identify as CDs, TVs, etc.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this, even if you don't look as good me LOL!!

Barbie :)

Alright, deep healing breath people. Is anyone's heart racing? Here we go!

Barbie,

First: Let's not try to paint with such broad strokes, shall we? To suggest that such a huge group of people--you refer to them as "other members of the transgender community"--are all "bitter, jealous, and envious"...well, it's just not a claim a person can make. Furthermore, I find such a generalization entirely out of line, especially such a hurtful one that is directed to a group that you claim membership of. We get enough of that shit from the real world. Which brings me to point number two:

Second: Perhaps there is some truth to what you have to say. Perhaps this "t-girl envy" that you speak of is a real thing. Can we really blame anyone for feeling it, when I think we can all admit to being more than a little bit envious of genetic females? Is that not the goal of many women here: to imitate natal females as closely as possible?

So yes, perhaps there are people out there who would like to emulate you. Perhaps there are people out there who react with jealousy when they see your (apparently, from the considerable effort you put into describing it, quite substantial) beauty. Perhaps their reaction to those feelings is to not shower you with the praise you feel you are owed. Is it possible that they don't lay down all high praises upon you because you just don't need it? Could their lack of support be the greatest compliment they could give?

Because maybe they can't make the decision you made. Maybe they can't go on hormones for whatever reason: financial, medical, psychological, or just plain old "life is fucking hard". It's a big step, and it's not for everyone. Many people wish they could, and many don't desire it at all, but they may all want that femininity in their life. I'm sure there are many women here who remember being jealous of those transfolk who were able to get on hormones before them, and even before then, of those natal females who had that feminine beauty they craved. Isn't that the whole point of transitioning: to achieve a standard of femininity that our society has made nearly unachievable? Which brings me to...

Third: I think this is yet another example of heterosexist, misogynistic, self-hatred leaking into our community. We're already surrounded by it. We have come to mimic and define ourselves by white male heterosexual concepts of femininity. The clothes. The shoes. The makeup. The perfect skin and hairless body and perfectly coiffed hair. That has become the standard that many transgirls come to live by. It is all the outer trappings of femininity that are required to "pass".

But that's not enough for the state, is it? No no, in order to be truly and fully recognized as a woman, in many places you have to go all out. Hormones. Surgery. Name change. Hormones. Surgery. New ID. And on and on and on.

And for those of you who can afford to go through the process, who were lucky enough to find out when they were young, who can take those steps and do it all the way...I say, you go girls! Because you're damn lucky. In larger American society--I can't speak for the world--the only conception of transfolk that most people have, if they have any knowledge of the concept at all, is "shemales". "Chicks with dicks." Sex objects for films. Or maybe a victim to rape and murder because they didn't quite pull it off. Whatever the case, there are penalties for not "passing" as a GG.

Here in our larger society, there is no room for that middle ground. No bearded women, no breasted men, no androgynes, no neuters, no gender queers of any sort that don't quite fit the binary. Cross-dressers are a punchline. Women wearing ties and packing junk are just lesbians for straight men to worship. Intersex people are medical anomalies. Society has carved out a special kind of torment for that section of the trans community, for those who the letters MtF and FtM do not apply. There is no road to success, no light at the end of the tunnel, no binary standard of "Woman" and "Man" to cling to.

And you write posts like "Tgirl Envy?" to blame your fellow trans-siblings for your consuming desire to be worshiped.

We are ALL fighting together.

We are ALL working for acceptance.

We are ALL beaten down by the slings and arrows of a cruel and barbarous society.

So I don't think your kind of talk has any real place here. It's not constructive, it's destructive. 'Cause the way I see it, honey, you ain't got a leg to stand on if you're trying to come in here and get some sympathy because the Flickr trannies don't shower you with praise.

Come talk to me when those transpeople who would like nothing better than to be you, start to curse you. When you've got a case to make, I'd love to hear it. Because I won't tolerate letting that toxin that the world throws at us every day sneak in here. I will not see our community torn apart from the inside.

Here, want a soapbox? You can have mine; it's spent.

TRANSWARRIOR B, OUT.