I've got a flaccid pussy whip

It would seem that mine is the kind of confidence that would have already earned me an infinitely-adoring pussy-whipped boyfriend--or at least a lengthy list of potentials--had I a vulva.

Instead, when my confidence meets my clit, it causes all the males to either a) curl up and whimper like little boys, b) scamper away like scared rats, or c) growl and hackle like caged mutts.

Damn.

They just don't make 'em like they used to...