Yes, I fear it has come to this. It is time for me to proclaim the pinnacle of culinarity and let down all you hopeful chefs and cheffettes striving for the perfect meal. Never fear, though, I will tell you all my secrets.
THE SALAD OF SOLITUDE. This bad mother adheres to all my food guidelines to a T: healthy, complicated, original, and requiring no more than the most basic of food preparation techniques. Contained within this delightfully joyous-looking delicacy is a laundry list of ingredients guaranteed to overwhelm and delight even the most hardened and calloused (eww...) taste buds. Prepare your imaginations: salad mix, spinach, cabbage, red onion, carrot, almonds, sunflower seeds, raisins, green apple, tuna, broccoli, celery, and monster cheese, dressed with balsamic vinegar and hemp seed oil.
As if this weren't enough, what's this to behold?
Aha! The perfect accoutrement! That would be a tall glass of one part red wine, one part green tea, over crushed ice.
Yumm...
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