Cusp drop the p flip the s and u

I’ve been feeling a bit down and out since leaving Duluth. I tried my best to prevent this from happening; everyone knows that having such a massive dose of fun over a relatively short duration can lead to dangerously fluctuating serum fun levels.

This uncertain ground I've been walking on the past few weeks is even rockier considering my destination: CSU. Despite my desire to do everything I can to make my transition easier, I found out early on that there's basically nothing I can do until tomorrow, when "Next Step" orientation starts.

So I've been in this very antsy place. During the school year, I am compelled to do certain things, most notably go to class and do homework/study. When I am sitting and waiting, I feel like I'm on vacation, but it has none of the features of a normal vacation. Juxtapose that to the fact that I just got done with a totally boss-awesome vacation in Duluth, and you are left with a confused puppy.

I've come to realize that the times I feel most uncomfortable and off my game are the ones when I'm sitting around doing nothing, with no particular focus in life. I solved that problem for 2009 by going to school at Front Range. Even still, I regarded it as a sort of preamble to what I was really going for: CSU. Nevertheless, it helped me find a medium that I was happy with, between action and inaction.

Now I'm coming to realize that my whole life, the times I've been the least satisfied--and also the times I remember the least of--are the ones where I feel like I'm taking a vacation from my own life. When I convince myself that the stakes aren't as high as they are, or that I've got more time than I actually do...ultimately, I'm telling myself that because I haven't reached some ill-defined milestone that lies off in the distant future, it's not imperative that I live to my fullest potential. I'm on vacation mode.

So no more of that! Yes, tomorrow is orientation, and there's nothing I can do for CSU until then. But I can clean my room! And I can take it easy. I can get my stuff organized for tomorrow morning. I can do all my laundry. I can squeeze in every last little bit of debauchery/tomfoolery/recreation before I buckle down. Basically, I can fulfill all the unproductive desires I have while preparing my environment for increased productivity.

So I'm going to go do that now.

So nyah! :P